Known generally for imitation

Microsoft is known generally for imitation rather than innovation. When Microsoft does something new, its purpose is strategic -- not to improve computing for the users, but to close off future alternatives for them.


in response to criticism of the GPL by Jim Allchin, Group VP of Operating-Systems Develoment at Microsoft

We can walk

  • We can walk our road together if our goals are the same.
  • We can run alone and free if we persue a different aim.

Our advantage at Microsoft

That's our advantage at Microsoft; we set the standards and we can change them.

of Microsoft, quoted in the Feb 1993 Unix Review editorial

A million monkeys

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

ILP 1996

We cause accidents

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Computers are useless

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.


Instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.

for Xerox Computers

Indistinguishable from magic

Any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic.

Unless one has a theory

Of course, unless one has a theory, one cannot expect much help from a computer (unless it has a theory)....

God is real

God is real, unless cast to an integer.

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